Ruby’s comments:
How can I express my feelings: introducing the Talking Stick
It can be really difficult talking about how we feel and what our con
cerns are. When we share what is going on for us then we open a part of ourselves and become vulnerable. We place ourselves in the trust of the person or persons we are talking to, and sometimes our fear of not being heard or understood or being hurt because we have dared to speak becomes bigger than our ability to risk sharing what we really want to be able to say with an open heart.
In times of grief and grieving we are especially vulnerable because we are already emotionally unbalanced and different people experience grief and grieving in different ways: some people need to talk about what has happened whilst others can’t and they need to keep their feelings to themselves.
So if you’re asking ‘How can I express my feelings?’ and you don’t feel safe in talking to those around you, then I’d like to introduce to the Native American concept of the talking stick. I give a detailed understanding of how to use this very effectively in my free 5 step mini e-course which you are invited to sign up to here, but I’d also like to share this video with you:
How can I express my feelings: introducing the Talking Stick
I don’t particularly like the way the person talking about the talking stick analyses what is going on – that’s a very Western way of looking at things – but he does get the basic idea across of how the talking stick works.
The talking stick creates a safe place in which each person has the right to speak and to be heard, knowing that their comments will be received in open way. The process is necessarily slower than a normal conversation, and what it does in slowing the conversation down is to really enable thoughts and feelings to be communicated and a response heard. Sometimes in our busy lives we just don’t take time to talk properly and the talking stick ensures that the necessary time and focus is put into the conversation. Through this process each person can really hear what is going on for the person talking and often this is all that is needed to resolve problems that have arisen.
So, if you are wondering ‘How can I express my feelings?’ then try using a talking stick and see how you get on. I have personally found it to be an extremely useful and respectful tool and highly recommend it. It is a great way to break down invisible barriers and can be used with other family members, partners or friends.
Be sure to check out the free 5 part mini e-course on Overcoming the Loss of a Child which pops up on the home page if you haven’t done already.
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Ruby Starheart is the founder of Loving Transformation. Following her own experience of her sister's death when she was 12 years old, Ruby wishes to support others through their experience of losing a child. She writes on and around the subject of death, grief, healing and following your life passion. Website: http://www.loving-transformation.com
